If Golfers' Were Shows (Part I)

If professional golfers were TV shows

It’s summer which means television shows are releasing new seasons, and the PGA is in midseason form, so let’s shake things up. If professional golfers were shows, which show would they be? 

Tiger Woods – When Tiger arrived on tour everyone else was just competing for second place. He turned pro in 1996 and won his first major at the 1997 Masters, which he won by 12 strokes! His domination of the sport continued for over a decade. But all good things must come to an end, by 2010 injuries and scandal caught up to him. There were occasional flashes of brilliance, reminiscent of the early 00's. Downfall aside, there isn't a discussion about the greatest golfer of all time that doesn't include Tiger. On that note, the best show of the early thousands’ and possibly ever, was “The Wire,” it took America by storm. It was gritty, it was endearing, it felt so real you could catch yourself thinking it could be a documentary. The story is always compelling and if it’s on your tv, it’s hard to focus on anything else. If Tiger was playing in the early 2000’s, watch out Omar Tiger comin’.

Tiger Woods: The Wire

Bryson DeChambeau – I can’t think of any person who embodies perception is reality more than Bryson. My earliest perception of Bryson was a guy that wears a goofy hat and was awkward around media. Frankly, I thought he was a doofus. Undoubtedly, there were people that jumped on the Bryson train early, but it wasn’t until he started putting out youtube content that my perception of him turned around. He is just a cerebral guy that maths his way around the course, but he also likes to hit dingers and have fun. Turns out he’s just a regular dude, and the hat is just an homage to Payne Stewart. Bryson's YouTube channel is just good, clean, fun. You could go so far as turn it on in a public place without the fear of ire from bystanders due to questionable content. Bryson is fun, you feel invested in whatever challenge he's undertaking, and if you ever weren't a fan, you will be hardpressed to not become one after watching. That’s why Bryson is, “Parks and Rec.”  My favorite fun fact from the show are around the ad hoc casting changes; Mark Brendanawicz was supposed to be Leslie's long term love interest and eventual marriage partner, and Andy was only slated for a few appearances as an extra. Whether it was focus groups that overwhelmingly said, "Mark sucks, Andy rules!" or horse sense, the director took notice. Ultimately, audiences were the benefactors who got to say goodbye to Mark, hello to Ben, and welcome back to Andy. In similar fashion, golf fans get to see a side of Bryson that was previously unknown, but presently delightful. The vibe check matches in my mind, but the performance matches as well, Parks and Rec won a multitude of awards and likewise, Bryson is no slouch, he has nine tour victories, and has won the US Open twice since he turned pro in 2016.

              Bryson DeChambeau: Parks and Recreation

Patrick Reed – Some men just want to watch the world burn. Is Patrick one of those people? Officially, he was dismissed from UGA for alcohol-related issues and possessing a fake ID. Unofficially, it’s alleged that he stole money out of his teammates lockers, and was a cheater. Reed denies the unofficial allegations. After leaving UGA he went on to play at Augusta State, where teammates accused him on multiple occasions of improving his lie and shaving strokes. His teammates voted to have him removed from the team but the coach overruled them and sanctioned him instead to taking a few weeks off. Patrick followed up by leading Augusta State to two national titles. The second coming against his old teammate, Harris English, from UGA. Reportedly, Reed’s teammates went out of their way to wish Harris English good luck prior to the match. When he made it to the tour, the controversies didn’t stop. One notable incident was at the Hero World Classic in 2019, where he was caught on camera improving his lie. When asked about it later, Reed excused the incident saying it was just bad camera angles making it look worse than it actually was. I for one, love that excuse, if I ever mess up or look bad, cue me saying something about bad camera angles. Speaking of bad camera angles, when the controversies occurred, the media addressed the situations as they should. But, Reed wasn't too happy about that. He filed a lawsuit to quell their slander and sought $750 million in compensation. The suit alleged that numerous media outlets and personalities conspired to destroy his reputation by falsely branding him as a cheater and a liar. The judge sided with the media outlets and the case was thrown out. If you're the wife of man who's constantly under fire, what can you do to support him? Reed's wife did what every good wife should do, she created a burner account to defend her man on social media. Justine took it upon herself to single-handedly parry every nameless rabble-rouser and, like a modern day Belle changing the town's perception of the Beast, she succeeded! A classic tale of T̶w̶i̶t̶t̶e̶r̶  X, random users having their minds changed by the contrarian /s. Despite the controversies he still has incredible talent and he’s a guy that people love to hate. For that reason, Patrick Reed is Tiger King. A real life, stranger than fiction, limited series that's so wild it captivated all of America in the early days of the Covid lockdown.

              Patrick Reed: Tiger King

Scottie Scheffler – Scottie is the new hotness, the king of the hill, the fresh prince of bel-aire. Some times when a new face arrives and immediately dominates, there is a hint of resentment from the people who have been fans for a long time. It's not felt immediately, the first couple wins everyone is behind you -- the novelty of a new winner. But once the wins become consistent, the novelty fades and the comparisons start to pop up, typically negatively. Like, "Well he'll never have the class/power/panache/etc. that xyz did when xyz was winning." If you continue to win, you become the person that people actively root against. "Oh, xyz won? Thank God it wasn't Scottie again." If you continue to win even more, then the comparisons to the greats begins. He turned pro in 2018, and already has 21 wins under his belt, three of those are majors. Even when he doesn’t win he’s usually in contention which is why he’s been ranked the number one golfer for 146 weeks over that span. In 2024, Scheffler was arrested outside of Valhalla Golf Club on his way to the second round of the PGA Championship, ended up spending about an hour in jail, returned to the course and carded a 66. No big deal for the consummate competitor, ultimately the prosecutor dropped all charges and deemed it all a big misunderstanding. To his credit, Scottie never spoke poorly of the police or the arresting officer, and just goes to show the kind of class this guy exudes. His life revolves around his faith and he often puts in on display whenever he gets an opportunity to talk about it. Scottie Scheffler is “The Mandalorian,” he lives by a code, he stays calm under pressure, and he’s on a mission. The Mandalorian captured the hearts of new and old Star Wars fans, an impressive feat considering the old Star Wars purists who care deeply about the lore and canon, have an almost impossibly high bar when it comes to new content. That and Grogu is the cutest lil' thing on television.

              Scottie Scheffler: The Mandalorian

Viktor Hovland – First of all, he’s the worst. Not really, apparently he is well liked by his peers and he listens to metal, so he’s probably a pretty cool dude. He turned professional in 2019 and has amassed 11 victories. At his peak, he ranked as the number three golfer in the world. He's on the list today because my wife adores him and according to her, all the girlies on the internet swoon over him. I was just going to say he’s McDreamy or McSteamy and leave it at that, but according to my wife, that’s the wrong kind of hot. Also, I never watched that show and I don’t know much about 'hotness types' for guys. Viktor is New Girl. The quirky, yet attractive person that makes the opposite sex go gaga.

              Viktor Hovland: New Girl

Jordan Spieth – Jordan had one of the hottest starts to a career in recent memory; not only did he win, he broke records along the way. Prior to turning pro, he was granted an exemption to play in the HP Byron Nelson Championship at the ripe age of 17. He made the cut and finished in a very respectable tie for 16^th, which put him in rarified air as the sixth-youngest player to make the cut at a PGA tour event. When he turned pro in 2012, it only took him three years to make serious waves. In 2015 everything was coming up Jordon. He won the Master tying Tiger Woods’ 1997 record at 18-under. He won at the U.S. Open, becoming the youngest winner since Bobby Jones did it in 1923. In the PGA Championship that year he shot a very good -17. Unfortunately for Spieth, Jason Day showed up that weekend and broke the record for lowest score in a major, previously set by Tiger Woods at the 2000 Open Championship, with a -20. Spieth continued to win or contend in 2016 and 2017 with the highlight being the 2017 Open Championship. That win made him the second person, behind Jack Nicklaus, to have three majors before turning 24. The pace that Jordan was on, was easily going to put him in the conversation for the greatest of all time, if he could have kept it up. But, keep it up, he did not. His career since 2018 has been largely disappointing. He has had a few close finishes but the major wins all dried up, and the number of cuts started to grow. Game of Thrones was a cultural phenomenon, even if a person didn't watch the show, they still knew about the 'red wedding.' Going into the last few seasons, it was going to be the greatest television series of all-time. The problem is that when the show outpaced the books, the story became lackluster and left many fans disappointed. While the show in it's entirety suffered from poor later seasons, the early seasons still plant the show firmly in the top ten shows of all time. While I'm not convinced Jordan is in the top ten golfers of all time, the first few years of his career were undeniably great.

              Jordan Spieth: Game of Thrones

That's all for Part I, if you disagree or have a favorite golfer who you want to see on the list for Part II, let me know in the comments. 

~Bon Voyage